thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
