I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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