hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize