Pappa wants mamma naked
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
