I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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