Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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