you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
