i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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