i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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