is your mom at the bar?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
