Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it glows. i had to have it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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