I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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