I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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