i already hear my dad disowning me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize