So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
