Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
