mondays should just be called national damage control day
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
