I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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