Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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