I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
