I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
