Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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