dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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