Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
