We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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