Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
