I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She told me I should be a condom model.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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