Your tits are I can't wait for
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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