he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
