things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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