"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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