umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize