So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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