your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
