What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
