So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
