Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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