He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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