Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
