Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
