Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
