Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
