Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You are a genius and a whore.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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