...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize