did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
