just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
