end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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