ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
