and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
