You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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