You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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