proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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