as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
