he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
