wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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