I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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