THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I AM VODKA MAN
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
