the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
