so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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