Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
