So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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