she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're too hungover to prance.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
