Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And then he peed in my hair
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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